Should You Tell Him That You've Just Lost a Lot of Weight?
You've just met a wonderful new love. Should you tell him or her that you've just lost a LOT of weight?
It's a fantastic accomplishment, as we all know.
"Definitely do not tell a new date that you've just lost a lot of weight," says Mimi Tanner, author of The Reverse Ultimatum: Get A Commitment Without Conflict.
"New romances are full of first impressions. If one of your date's first impressions are the fact that you've just shed a substantial amount of weight, he or she will see this as one of your main defining features. While they may congratulate you, they may still see you through the lens of 'person who was obese for a very long time.'
"They may mentally put you in the 'biggest loser' category, in a manner of speaking. Instead of seeing you as attractive person who has just accomplished a wonderful goal, they may see you as someone whose good looks are a very recent, and possibly temporary fluke. They may also fear that the chances are very high that you'll soon go back to being obese - and statistically speaking, most people do regain lost weight.
"It doesn't mean they're a bad person for thinking these things. It just means they're human," says Mimi Tanner.
Mimi offers this as a way to handle the situation:
"It's a much better idea to wait until you have dated or spent time with the person for more than four times.
"By the fifth date, it's clear that you have a budding romance with real potential. At this point, you can safely confide your weight loss triumph to your new love. They will already know the 'real you' by then and will be able to incorporate this new information without it damaging their tender first impressions."