Valentine's Day

How To Handle Men Who Avoid Valentine's Day

Some men are not comfortable with Valentine's Day at all.

Other men time their phone calls and contact with women "just so" at this time of year....

....just so they can avoid a woman until AFTER February 14th!

Yes, it is a bit ridiculous....

So how exactly do you handle this?

This reader shares her experience:


"Your advice about Valentine's Day and not being the first to contact your guy was on the spot. I did not send my long-time long distance boyfriend a present or card, didn't send him an e-card, or even an email for Valentine's this year.

"I thought back to the past holidays and occasions and remembered how much 'giving' and 'creativity' I had put in my presents to him, when they weren't as reciprocated, so I just decided to hang back this holiday.

"So what did I get from him? This email at 8:30 this a.m.:

'Happy Valentines Day! Any plans for today? I'm not doing much. Should be another quiet weekend.'

"After waiting for the mail to come just in case there was a beautiful card in it from him....which there wasn't.... I wrote him back this very simple email reply:

'Thanks, you too.'

"I know that will get his head scratching and wondering. Not trying to be mean of course, but the power has finally shifted. Thanks to you!

"A grateful and wiser reader, "J."

Dear J., That is fantastic to hear. You said it so well - "The power has finally shifted." That's what it's all about!

She mentioned, "I'm not trying to be mean..." and this theme is very familiar to women.

Suppose a guy does only the minimum or less... yet the girl still has concerns that she's being "mean" if she does less than what is really in her heart to do - if only the relationship was where she wanted it to be.

It's definitely not mean, as J. already knows... and when it comes to love, you have to value yourself enough to realize that you deserve to be loved and appreciated.

Stay cool and sweet - as J. did. Don't lash out at a guy because he didn't do anything for Valentine's Day. Don't even stop being his friend. Just know that he's sending a signal that this is not where the relationship is for him.

J. has shifted the balance of power so that now, this man will indeed be wondering if she's just about had enough of him, or if some other man is taking the interest in her that he is not!

Information is valuable. Knowledge is power. When it comes to your LOVE LIFE, you must take care of you.

When it comes to ROMANCE, being a healthy participant with high self-esteem is what it's all about!