Are You In a Fantasy Relationship?
Are you in a fantasy relationship? Thousands of people today are in fantasy relationships and don't even know it.
There are many kinds of fantasy relationships. What they have in common is that they take place mostly inside your own private world. And I don't mean this in a judgmental way either.
Here's one clue: your relationship happens ONLY on the phone (or Skype or email). It never takes place in person.
Or... your relationship starts out in person, but ends up being a "phone only" relationship.
That goes for relationships that are only conducted via text or Skype or anything else that is NOT IN PERSON.
You've seen this show "Catfish"? Now that show is a public service to mankind. Very well done and unlike a lot of other shows, it doesn't disrespect the very people it's using for the story. (I hate to see people humiliated on tv or anywhere else.)
The thing about "Catfish" is that many of these people (the ones who are being duped) are NOT anxious to meet in person. Perhaps deep down they KNOW it's a fantasy relationship and they want to postpone the bursting of their bubble.
But the fact is, if you're having a relationship that is NOT in person; that's mostly taking place on the phone or online, then you're not having a real relationship.
"Oh, but he lives overseas." Really? Now what in the Sam Hill do you have in mind for your future?
Is one of you definitely planning to relocate, and soon?
If not, then wouldn't you be doing yourself FAR more good to meet people in your area, or in an area where you're willing to relocate?
Another kind of fantasy relationship can happen in your world. This one is between you and someone you WANT to be with...
Even though you may not have seen this person for years...
This person may be someone dear to you who is no longer alive, but your relationship carries on... (this may be friendship, not romance, but just as important).
In fact, during times of high stress, people have reported that someone from "the other side" has reached out to them for a time to help them survive a difficult time.
Fantasy relationships come in many forms and we're not judging them.
But if your fantasy relationship becomes unhealthy then you must take care and balance your life.
The further away from your "In Real Life" world your fantasy relationship takes you, the more you need to exercise common sense and a good dose of reality, even if you find some comfort in your fantasy relationship because it get you through the day (and the night).
Perhaps at times, a "fantasy relationship" can be better than no relationship, because having some form of a love life can be the juice that motivates you and makes you feel happy.
It's certainly not the only way to be happy, but it's one way.
If you want to go ahead and have a fantasy relationship, then there's nothing wrong with that, but why not admit to yourself that this is what it is - and that maybe you really don't want a real future in the flesh with this person.
And that's okay too. The only way to move forward from that point is to be honest and admit it. Then you're more free to re-examine what you really do want.
If you DO want to be married to someone or live your life with another person, then start moving away from any fantasy relationships and start meeting people in your community OR, if your community has a shortage of partner-material, then consider a move to somewhere else.
Ultimately, we owe it to ourselves to be true to what we REALLY want, whatever that is. We owe it to ourselves to be privately honest about what we're doing, what we want, and what we're really willing to do - or not do!
There are no wrong answers here. But we owe it to ourselves to be clear on what we're doing with our lives.
- Advice for Men: 7 hidden signs that she likes you