 Mimi
Tanner
Author of Hard To Get,
Calling Men, and much more
Readers Write In about Chick FlicksNot long
ago, I sent an email out (my column titled "With Love, Mimi Tanner") and it
was all about "chick flicks." I use the term endearingly, of course.
Here are some of the responses I've received... there are a LOT and I have
really and truly enjoyed these responses. I'm glad I wrote about this
even though, trust me, it was not easy to admit how much these movies can
affect me.
Personally I have been taking stock,
and I think that I need to see one movie every single day in order
to stay sane and not get my mind on things it shouldn't be on.
Of course one has to be really careful these days just what movie
one sees. And if you are a parent, the chances of seeing a
movie without being interrupted (if you're home) are slim unless you
time it right. That also goes if you're a pet owner. Okay,
here are the comments (please bear with me that I can't do all
editing that may be needed because just posting these is not as
simple as cut and paste unfortunately - it takes a lot of time):
Hi Mimi,
I have a tremendous love for 'chick
flicks' too and yes I think they affect me ridiculously. Lol! I'm a
sucker for good romance.
The last one I saw that was nothing
short of amazing was A Walk to Remember which comes in both book and
dvd by Nicholas Sparks. Not forgetting another called Message in a
Bottle by Nicholas Sparks again. Absolutely touching and beautiful
stories that made me believe once again that true love was possible.
God has finally sent me my true love and I hope to spend the rest of
my life with this wonderful man. To everyone else, don't give up but
trust God and it will happen for you too.
Regards
Shelly
From Mimi: Thank you, Shelly, and you inspired
people here with your words.
I agree with you and many others who mentioned
"A Walk To Remember" and I adore that movie for so many reasons.
For any teens reading this, you have GOT to see this one ASAP!
I have a YouTube clip down below on this page of a scene from
this movie.
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 Thanks for sharing,
Mimi. I really DO enjoy, and learn from, your emails!
Meryl Streep has always been my favorite actress
so I will be sure to watch that movie, maybe this Friday!
Sincerely,
Marguerite
From Mimi: I think she's the greatest, too.
And she's had a long, successful marriage. I love her in
everything from "Kramer vs. Kramer" to "The Devil Wears Prada"
and "Doubt."
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Hi Mimi,
What a great e-mail!! Yes, at the ripe old age of 39 I find myself
blown away by a good ol' chick flick once in a while too.
Two movies have really blown me away recently:
1) "Love Actually" (love, love, love it) It shows love in its
various forms, bitter, sweet, sillly, wonderful.... happy, sad....
It's a gorgeous film. And incidentally, made by the same director of
"Four Weddings & a Funeral".... there are so many scenes in it that
are amazing, I can't even begin to tell you the story (stories). If
you haven't seen it RUN to the store and buy it!!!!! Any time I
happen to mention I love that film and there's a woman in the room..
we take off on a 10 minute tangent recounting which parts we loved
best.
2) "Anna and the King" - OMG! Though this movie is already 10 years
old, I had never seen it (it didn't get good reviews....
unbelievable). I happened to see it the other evening on TV and ran
out the next day to buy the DVD. I loved it dubbed in Italian, and
couldn't believe how amazing it was in the original language. I was
BLOWN away! The last scene of that film is probably the most
romantic scene I have EVER seen. SO touching!!! Gorgeous. It shows
how a woman who is true to herself and not ashamed of her strength
is always irresistible to any man worth his salt (as Bob Grant
teaches) and that true love is based on so much more than mere
physical attraction (which is also, very powerfully there, but is
not the core of the relationship). It also shows how amazing a truly
manly man (in the real sense of the word) can be... *sigh*.
Voilà, my two cents! Part of me hopes that you haven't seen either
film, so that you will go out, rent/buy them and then tell me that
they're the best chick-flicks you've ever seen ;-)
Enjoy!
Greetings from Rome, Italy
From Mimi: Thanks! I have only
seen parts of "Love Actually" and haven't seen "Anna..." I
will check them out!
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Dear Mimi,
Yes, I do find them inspiring. One of my favorites that I watch over
and over is While You Were Sleeping. Though not a heart wrenching
tear jerker it's moving in a light hearted way. A plus for me is
Bill Pullman not a sophisticated leading man but more my speed.
Though I still love watching Cary Grant he's been my favorite since
childhood.
Glad you had a wonderful Birthday.
Be well!
Ellen
From Mimi: Thanks, Ellen, you are so
nice as always!! Oh gosh, Bill Pullman, I adore him. I haven't
seen all of his movies but all the ones I have seen are so good.
Too bad he's taken lol. "Youuu Betterrr Runnn!!!" He
can be funny or touching or whatever is required.
Here's another GREAT chick flick with Jodie
Foster, Richard Gere (he's the greatest), and Bill Pullman that
is just fantastic: "Sommersby."
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"Bridges over Madison county" did it for me when it
comes to love stories, I still picture Meryl and Clint in the
kitchen...and my heart starts to beat faster and I feel like I am
breathless. The chemistry was intoxicating....I have been
lucky to have had this kind of chemistry (although I was not married
at the time), and still seek it at age 54. Age is irrelevant
when it comes to love and
chemistry... I know it is still
possible.....single and keeping an eye out for someone to "Rock my
core"
From Mimi: I like this one too, but
wanted to like it more than I did. But boy do I wish I had
written the book. That is the kind of book I hope to write
someday. I think they were both perfectly cast here. I
wanted her to get out of that truck though. Gosh.
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Mimi,
Happy Belated Birthday! OMG I love your
emails. They are getting me through the most difficult break-up
because I'm left a single mom to a 10 month old (now one). I watched
"Nights at Rodanthe" over the weekend. What an awesome love story!
The movie begins with every woman's dream the ex coming back to say
I want to come home, I made a mistake. She makes the decision to
shake him off and continue on her journey to Rodanthe where she
meets a man. She helps the man and he says the words that of course
again you wish your ex would say, "Any man who walks away from you
has to be a fool," (paraphrased of course). They go off on their
separate ways, he sends her the most beautiful love letters only to
find that when they finally are going to meet he ......
From Mimi: I just saw that one too
finally.
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3 Actresses Who Should Have Been
Superstars Sooner:
1. Diane Lane. I know she was famous
as a little girl in "A Little Romance." But she should have gone on
to be a major presence in films in her 20's and from then on.
Yet it seemed to take 20 years or so before she started getting the
great roles.
2. Kim Basinger. She appeared in
"Charlie's Angels" (the old series) when she was a very young woman.
I caught that episode (I didn't watch the show regularly) and
thought, "WOW, that girl is going to be a star." But it didn't
happen for like 2 decades. Good grief.
3. Jane Kaczmarek. She's in one of
the movies we're talking about, "Falling in Love." She is fantastic
in that movie. She's so adorable. That movie is from 1984 - why did
it take so long for HER to really get the fame she deserved? Yes,
she has been acting for years, but to my knowledge, it took a tv
series for her to become really well known. She's terrific. I hope
she gets a lot more starring roles; she deserves them.
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HI Mimi - Happy belated Birthday wishes to you.
A great movie : FRENCH KISS with Meg Ryan, Kevin Kline & Timothy
Hutton. Meg loses her fiancé (Timothy) to a Frenchwoman, so
she books a flight to Paris to get him back, even though she's
afraid of flying. On the flight she sits next to Kevin Kline,
a Frenchman who helps Meg get thru her flying fear & then gives her
lessons on how a Frenchwoman would act & speak in this
situation. When she uses this advise, her ex-fiancé (Timothy)
sees her in a new light & is newly intrigued with her, temporarily
forgetting about the French babe he left her for. At the same time,
Kevin falls for her too. Some lessons don't show him how much
you miss him or how you're falling apart; show him you can get along
without him & how you're attracted to & are attracted by other men.
The dialog is great & fits right in the lessons of your newsletter -
watch it sometime (uncut & without commercials to get the full
effect).
Thanks for your daily newsletter - it gives me something to look
forward to every day. I've been married for 21 years, but I
still find info in your newsletter that I can use at home.
Thanks, & have a great day, JR
From Mimi: Thanks! I will check
this one out!
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Hi Mimi,
Thanks for sending this email out! I agree that chick flicks
can touch you like no other story can.
I have 2 favorites that I watch at least once or twice a year when I
need a chick flick night or weekend, usually all by myself.
First is (also) Falling in Love.....It apparently didn't have too
many great reviews or was a big blockbuster, but no matter how many
times I watch it (and can recite every line), it always touches me
and cheers me up. The two couples would have probably wound up
living out their lives just as they were....and I always wonder how
those marriages would have played out. They obviously loved
their spouse/children, but like you said, this movie is "dangerous."
It shows how easily an affair can be sparked when you are seemingly
happily married. When there is something deep down inside of
you that is yearning and you can't quite put your finger on it,
someone can come along that can really fill that empty space.
I know, I've been there, and always "Falling in Love" was running in
the background of my imagination! However, for those of us who
don't have a happy ending and finally wind up with the one they
seemed "right" for, it's a little sad too.
Second favorite is "Shirley Valentine" -- a British comedy about a
woman who tires of being the housewife and winds up talking to the
"wall." But she bravely goes on vacation and emerges a
butterfly. The ending is perfect, sitting on the edge of the
sea, and knowing that her life will never be the same again because
she's finally found the woman inside herself that she always wanted
to be.
Why aren't there "chick flick" festivals anywhere? Maybe we
should start one?
Thanks!
Jill
From Mimi: It's nice to hear from
someone else who adores that movie "Falling in Love" as I do.
That movie does have an all-star cast, by the way! For those who
don't know the movie, it stars Robert De Niro, Meryl Streep,
Harvey Keitel, Dianne Wiest, Jane Kaczmarek, David Clennon (love
him too, and he was great on "30-Something" and "Being There"),
and even Jesse Bradford plays a little child... but be
warned, this is a Chick Flick to end them all.
I said it's dangerous; I found the antidote
also. If this movie makes you want to leave your marriage or
break up someone else's, here is a sure cure: this movie is from
Sweden and with subtitles - it's "Heaven's Heart."
This is one very powerful movie about the effects and the risks
of infidelity. And so by the way is "Unfaithful" with
Diane Lane and Richard Gere... both are well worth seeing to say
the least!!
Back to "Falling in Love" - That was, I think,
the 2nd time that Streep and De Niro played love interests. The
first time was in "The Deer Hunter." It is very nice to
see Robert De Niro in the romantic roles for a change. He also
did a great romantic role with Jane Fonda in "Stanley and Iris."
He's a living legend, no one can quarrel with that.
Falling in Love" -
it has my highest "ruin your life, wrench your heart"
recommendation. Irresistible. Be sure to see the antidotes
recommended before you ruin your life or someone else's - be
very, very sure you know what you're doing! SIGH.
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Mimi,
I also love a good chick flick. I liked all
the movies you mentioned but have yet to see The Notebook.
I'll see it. I think most of the good chick flicks are the
older ones, not current ones. The current ones mostly seem
derivative, copies of earlier films done better, with better
writing and more depth of character. There are exceptions of
course.
I would suggest you watch FANNY, a very romantic
movie from 1961. Also TRULY MADLY DEEPLY. About a
woman who can't get over her love who died, and so he comes back
as a ghost. And for some good laughs, PILLOW TALK.
About battle of the sexes, really well done with Doris Day and
Rock Hudson. TWO FOR THE ROAD is a good one about the ups
and downs of marriage. Those are just my first few....there will
be more later!
-- "Connie"
From Mimi: Funny you mention it,
when I was growing up, I did see "Fanny" on TV. I
always remembered it too. Just recently I ran across it
again and it was exactly as I remembered it. I also
saw "Two For the Road" in reruns while growing up and was
very impressed with it. I got it on DVD and it's great, but
even better if one can go back in time to the '60s and see
it from that vantage point. Audrey is (was) the ultimate
charming woman, we all know that. Her charm is
unequalled. The lines from "Two for the Road" stay
with one forever. And of course William Daniels and
Eleanor Bron were absolutely hysterical.
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Chick flicks - The Women (1939) is classic!
Anything based on a Jane Austen novel
Steel Magnolias
Enchanted April
A Room with a View
sigh.... sigh some more, ladies, sigh some more... ahhhhhhh
From Mimi: You said it!! People,
if you have never seen "Steel Magnolias," then by all means,
it's a delight.
Two of my favorites are "Sense and
Sensibility" and "Emma."
"The Women" - "This is Mrs. Stephen Haines." I
love it.
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There was one about a couple of gay guys in New
York...
Can't remember the name... Where the one says to the other in sign
language
"NOT ENOUGH!"
ANd that's been a guide (when I remember)- not to be with guys who
don't
love me enough... even if they're lovely!
xox
From Mimi: You've got me wondering what
the name is! : )
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Here is a group of shorter comments:
-- I, as you, enjoy chick flicks. It helps to restore
you faith that true love does exist. I truly love the Notebook. It
was such a wonderful story. There is another movie if you have not
seen yet is worth renting and seeing. It is called NIghts in
Rodanthe. The ending is sad but the story line is great.
-- original sin is a great movie with angelina jolie.
-- I loved "50 First Dates"
-- My favorite Chick Flick was "The Mirror has Two
Faces". It spoke volumes to me about how guys think
-- Check out P.S. I love you. I would mark
it right after the notebook. Give me a pint of Guinness and man like
that any day.
-- You can't talk about love stories without mentioning "Message In
A Bottle" - Kevin Costner and Robin Wright Penn. That
one just tears my heart out. Now when I watch it over again...I have
to stop it before the end. Barbara
From Mimi: I will just have to get that
one! Several people are saying it's great. Now you've got me
worried though... : )
--Mimi, one of my very
favorite "chick flicks" is Love Actually. If
you haven't seen this LOVE story, you must rush out and get
it NOW!! The characters, the plots, the music, it's all
there. Makes you realize no one should settle for less
than true love....
Doris
--Hi Mimi,
I read your emails all the
time and the topics you bring up are so relevant to
every woman out there!! Thank you so much for being
here. I truly appreciate you!
I like 'Ghosts of
Girlfriends Past' and 'He's Not That Into You'. It
reveals the male psyche and reinforces everything that
you have been saying all along.-- "BABY BOOM" WITH
DIANE KEATON IS A TOUCHING, VERY FUNNY MOVIE! IT TOUCHES
UPON LOVE OF EVERY LEVEL.... ROMANCE, SEX, FAMILY, AND
THE LOVE AND RESPECT FOR OURSELVES AS WOMEN. I LOVE
WATCHING IT ESPECIALLY AFTER A BREAKUP OR LOSS OF A JOB,
OR IF MY SELF-ESTEEM NEEDS A WAKE UP CALL! SEE
IT....I THINK ITS THE BEST CHICK FLICK EVER; BESIDES, AS
YOU QUOTED, "THE WOMEN"! (THE 1939 VERSION)
-- Awh :) I saw The Notebook properly the other day, and
I cried all the way through. True, I was
already upset before I watched it, and I only wanted to
watch it to see the look Allie gives Noah that you mention
in Hard To Get, but it was a beautiful story and thinking
about it makes me want to cry, hehe.
From Mimi: Thanks!! I'm glad you saw
it... and it is nice to know that the two actors had a
romance in real life too.
-- Yes! 'Pride and Prejudice'! with Keira Knightley and
McFadden. I've watched it so many times that I could almost
recite their lines and my eyed are glued on the screen like
I'm watching it for the first time. The love story in it
just thrills me!
Thank you Mimmi,
Tequila
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Dear Mimi,
Thank you so much for your emails and your insight. You have
saved me from the brink of mistakes several times now with your
common sense, empowering information. I would like to respond
about my favorite chick flick. It's Somewhere In Time starring
Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour.
From Mimi: You're absolutely right. This is
one of the greats. And ever so much more sad now that
Christopher Reeve is no longer with us. This movie has
spawned weekends at that hotel where it was filmed. I plan
to go to one of those weekends in the next couple of years.
"Somewhere in Time" - it's a must-see ultimate
Chick Flick, for sure.
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Dear Mimi:
Happy belated birthday from one
Gemini to another. In regards to your email "chick flicks," I wanted
to share that the most inspiring movie for me was Bridges of
Madison County also starring Meryl Streep.
Now, here is
a love story that is not only forbidden and passionate but one that
lasts a life time. The reason for its impact would have to be
because I can somewhat relate to it.
True love may be found
in the least expected people in the least expected of times.
Sometimes, it is impossible to hold on to that love but in our
hearts, that love remains forever. Unfortunately, I believe that the
reason why that type of love remains so true and passionate is for
the very same reason that we cannot have it or live with. This type
of love is the one that's in the back of our minds and creates a
barrier with our current relationship.
Sincerely,
Revery
From Mimi: What I like about that movie and
book is that the love was still considered to be real even
through the years; they didn't consider it to be just a passing
phase. What you said is interesting and that's what Meryl's
character alludes to. I'm not sure if I want to agree with
this though - but I'm sure there is truth in it. I'd like to
think that these 2 could have made it work if they had chosen
to. But as they said, it was the life circumstances and
history that might have marred happiness even if they'd tried
for it - is that it?? sigh.
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OMG!! .. Murphy's Romance. James Garner and Sally
Field. At the end when she says that she is in love for
the FIRST time and he says.. he is in LOVE for the LAST time.
I just cried and said that I want to say that someday.
There is so many wonderful movies out there to inspire love.
You've Got Mail at the end when she is crying and he says ..
Don't cry Shop Girl... and she says.. I so wanted it to be you.
ohhhhhh....
From Mimi: Thank you for mentioning this
one, and a few other people did also! James Garner is
fantastic in this.
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With love,
Mimi Tanner
Author of "Calling Men - the Complete Guide to Calling
and Emailng the Men You Date"
www.CallingMen.com
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